Originally, I imagined that turning 25 would be a challenge because of the good ol' saying from Kanye West: "We weren't s'posed to make it past 25, jokes on you, we still alive". I'll say this much, though, I barely survived 25. I mean, I lived to see another two years, but the struggling transition into what I call Second Puberty was rough. In addition to that increasing struggle, I began to feel as though the molding of The Man was void of a father figure. In fact, more than ever, I felt as though that void could finally be closed forever.
There was never a guideline for me. Yet, rather than lashing out to the world, and sitting back on a narrative of what black men are like when they are raised fatherless, I looked back and realized that so many times in my life I tried to latch onto men in my environments, testing if they were fit enough to be father figure material. From coaches, to teachers, to professors, friends, and everything else, they fell short.
That was a moment of quiet, and often solitary growing up had to happen. When I was 25 years old, ahead of very life-changing events in my life, I wrote "Welcome to the World" as the intro to my 2015 EP, MyRealViciousLife. The song was to represent the birth of men who, like me, are faced with often haunting decisions which are made without the guidance of elder, wiser men or even father-figures. For a long period in my life, the subconscious question of "would this make dad proud" used to haunt me. Today, 19 years since his 1998 passing from cancer, I breath easier and always move with a very conscious effort to both makes pops proud, as well as creating a legacy that any future child of mine can be proud of. Today, Alfred (O.G. Marvel) would have been 67). WELCOME TO THE WORLD
If dad was alive now, wow,
What would I say to him? Where could I start? How could I explain to him? I know the modern world'll probably look strange to him. Would he feel like the day had a place for him? Global imprisonment, sickness, indifference; When he said 'save the babies' are we listening?* He had an MBA in Economics - my major was like a major form of Hooked on Phonics. He had a ring on his finger, my spikes were under Sonic His wife was an Aquarius, mine is to be Virgo. The world is spinning quicker than usual, my vertigo! Vertical in my progress My aim is to be honored My name is Mistah Marvel The game is not to fall in There's chips upon my shoulder, let's gamble baby I'm all in! Tears rolling, From years thinking What would I change up? How would I be different? How could I be everywhere? I am not omniscient! But I'm still gifted if I keep my persistence My music would be legendary When I leave existence, but I'm in the fields doing dirty work for industries. Laid off my first job. Nearly lost my first car. Questions 'bout GoodKnocking, had to have a casting call. The real world doesn't ever come with road rules, and this music shit never comes with pro tools But it's just whatever, [n*gga] We gone get better, my [n*gga] Whether we weather the weather Or Keep it steady, my [n*gga] The only thing that can save us is to stick together, my [n*gga] Gotta shit up on the others like an enema [n*gga] If dad was alive, would he be feeling this? Would he be jamming this, would I ever be needing this? Came in on Saturday, passed away Thursday. Momma was depressed, her sons feel it the worst way; Started up this writing in the 3rd grade, Then I majored in college way more than just wordplay [People] won't acknowledge you on surveys, That's why I keep 300, fuck [anybody] being Xerxes Woke up on Monday, still so jobless Walked across stage, exhausted from my problems, but Marvel:Reloaded made me really feel progress My life's been vicious, I'm just glad I'm finally conscious cause, man, to be honest: this shit is daunting. Fall so much that shit begins to haunt ya. Ball so hard, the women really start to want ya. Back then, they wouldn't even call ya. But I'm honored. And I'm all in. I can hear the wilderness is straight calling Lone wolf shit, you Palmeranians keep barking But talent plus hard world always been my options So I'll go Mach 5, it's a race to the coffin Steroids and alcohol, please excuse the coughing They said I wouldn't make, we'll they'll just keep talking My name is Mistah Marvel though my life is so vicious This shit is so awesome. And when the cap and gown's down, you ain't backing down! You spent 4 whole years getting smacked around. You see that new car money, you gone act a clown. Either that, get tough skin or fuck around and get smacked around. Cycles never stop - no - I promise that's my message For 2 years, I couldn't find my pen and shit got reckless. You fed up. But don't let up. You could fall 1,000 times, but just get up. Get your bread up, Don't get left bruh, Watch the news, you'll be hoping you ain't next, bruh. Rest in Peace, Alfred J. Auguste (Aug. 5 1950 - Apr. 30, 1998)
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